


Not In Love

by myspookyjoshdunchristmas



Category: Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Arguing, Baby Pilot, BoyxBoy, Comfort, Evil Parents, Family Problems, Forbidden Love, Hate, Hurt, Josh and Tyler are totally gay, Josh is a baby daddy, M/M, Marriage, Mpreg, Pregnant josh, Romance, Sadness, Suicide Attempt, Tags to be added along the way, Trigger Warnings, Verbal Abuse, Yaoi, ignorance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-07 13:53:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8803381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myspookyjoshdunchristmas/pseuds/myspookyjoshdunchristmas
Summary: Tyler and Josh are madly in love and have been for so long. They are so intimate and loving to each other. Nothing can break them apart.Except when a marriage proposal is thrown Tyler's way and Josh is the one suffering endlessly.Tyler is the older and taller male in this story. Josh is younger and shorter as always ;)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I should really stop writing so much and finish my other fanfictions. Please check them out? :P show some love guys, will probably have a lot of mentions of sin, though I suck at writing it enjoyy :D
> 
> This will be a few chapters long :P

"Hmmm baby you smell so good." Josh cooed, standing on his tip toes to smell his boyfriends lavish strawberry scented hair. Tyler smiled and rested his hands on the small of Josh's back, pulling him close aggressively. "You know baby boy, you can make it effort scented if you know what I mean." Tyler smirks and then bites his lip. Josh's breathing hitches and his hands land on Tyler's shoulders. "Baby, you don't know what you do to me." 

With that, Tyler picks up his boyfriend off of the ground and carries him. "Where to baby boy?" Tyler asks Josh. The pink hair male ponders over where he wants to be taken. There's the kitchen table, the couch, the shower, the counter top, the balcony, all of which they've already done it on. 

"Kitchen table." Josh chooses and smiles ever so sweetly to his horny boyfriend. 

Instantly, the apartment is filled with groans, loud moans and rocking of what sounds like a bolt is loose on the table. "T-Tyler." Josh pants as Tyler shoves his erection into Josh's ass. Pulling it out slowly and then shoving it back in. Tyler grunts but managing to keep going. He bottoms out. 

Josh's heavybreathymoans are music to Tyler's ears, he loves them, he could hear them all day, as much as Tyler loved playing piano, Josh's begging and moaning was his favourite kind of music.

Tyler came into Josh and Josh came all over the table as he jerked himself off. 

"It's back in the shower for you Ty." Josh says and sticks his tongue out. After cleaning up their mess, they both head into the shower, helping each other clean up and yes, fuck Josh against the wall. 

What? They're in love. 

Afterwards, they grabbed a huge towel and covered both of themselves and hobbled out of the bathroom and crashing against the bed, only to end up having-

Well you get the picture.

Tyler loved Josh to the moon and back. He doesn't know what he did to deserve a such a big softie in his arms. Josh couldn't live without Tyler, he was practically his living, breathing air. Without Tyler, Josh would practically suffocate and die. Josh was the flower, Tyler was the bee. Tyler was the piano, Josh was the melody.

Like that the two found something in each other they couldn't find elsewhere, comfort. 

Their parents had been too busy indulging in themselves and their own pride to even notice their children's happiness. Tyler was somewhat distanced from his family, he received no real, comforting love from them. Everything he wanted to do was literally banned. Whereas the piano, he picked up on at an early age and fell in love, his parents let him continue with that activity.

Josh's parents were worse to an extent. Blasphemous and loud music was not allowed in the home. No sugar cereal, no ridiculously loud instruments such as drums. Josh was hardly ever allowed to go out, he was literally drowned in school work, mixed with house work. 

He didn't have time for friends or finding love, his parents did their best to steer him from being some what normal. The same for Tyler, but he almost cracked one day and almost ended up in an insane asylum. His parents wouldn't allow the fact that their child was a psycho and needed to be banged up in a wacko house, it would ruin their status. They hired a psychiatrist to help Tyler and eventually, slowly, he got better.

By chance he received a text from a wrong ID name on messenger and ended up becoming best friends with Josh. They ended up sneaking out, meeting up, watching movies, going to creeks nearby, building a treehouse in the forest.

And one day losing their virginity in that treehouse. It was worth it. 

They grew up, got jobs and ended up living in an apartment on rent every month. Life was sweet.

"Spooky butt, mom called me over today, she said to bring you, she has good news, maybe finally Zack is giving her a grandkid." Tyler said, taking a bite of his honey covered toast. Josh rested his hand under his chin and leaned his elbow on the table, glancing over at his perfection boyfriend.

"Well, I'll think about it, I mean, I don't want us to end up having sex in your parents back garden shed again, not that I didn't love it." Josh purred, eyes filled with love and lust. Their parents still didn't know about that.

Tyler chuckled. "My baby boy has become so naughty and slutty, I love it." 

"Only for you Ty, and I will tag along with my soul baby today, my smol bean." 

|-/ \\-| 

Tyler arrived at his parents place, Josh stood by his side. Their relationship was a secret on both sides. They knew that both families wouldn't approve of their kids being gay in a christian family, it would ruin their status.

"Baby you okay?" Josh asked, tugging on his boyfriends jacket. Tyler nodded and instantly pulled Josh's hand away when someone fumbled with the door on the opposite side.

"Tyler!" His mother coos and opens her arms for her son to hug her. She glances over at Josh who just smiles brightly. He isn't surprised when she throws a look of disgust at him. She never liked Josh, he knew, but he loved Tyler. 

"J-Josh, hello." She said pulling away from her son and the ushering them in. "She didn't invite me, did she Tyler?" Josh asked. Tyler didn't reply and stepped in. It hurt that Tyler bought him all this way just to receive disapproving glares from his family. 

He no longer dwelled over it and entered behind Tyler. 

Tyler landed in his living room to be met with another man and woman. He knew who they were. Mr and Mrs Black, Jenna's parents. Jenna was sat right next to Tyler's sister, talking away. 

The man greeted all three and took a seat, Josh landing next to him. Josh couldn't understand why her parents also looked at him weird. He ignored it and looked around. He didn't want to be here, he was the odd one out. Mr Black was taking the odd glance at Josh. The pink haired male was trying so hard not to stand up and walk away. He hated that Tyler lied to him. 

Zack had already attacked Tyler with questions and they were chatting away like they hadn't seen each other in forever. Josh was alone, just talking to himself in his mind.

"So Tyler Mr and Mrs Black came with a proposal today, I was waiting for this day I mean you aren't getting  younger and I'm growing impatient to meet grandkids, especially ones from you Tyler." Tyler furrowed his eyebrows at his mothers weird speech and just played with his fingers. 

"Tyler son..." Mr Black began.

Tyler looked towards the man, as if to say please continue. 

"I want you to take my daughter Jenna's hand in marriage."

There at that point, Josh's world froze. Now he really wished Tyler didn't bring him just to hear that.

He didn't understand why he felt his heart break, like someone was repeatedly hurting his organ with a baseball bat over and over. Tyler himself, felt like his breath was taken away from him. He didn't love women, he didn't love Jenna. 

He loved the pink haired male that sat so close to him, his Josh.

But they weren't going to approve. "What do you say son?" Mr Black asked.

Josh couldn't take this and he stormed out of the house. As he was a few paces away, his tears began to stream from his eyes and his tears were accompanied by sobbing.

It wasn't everyday you saw a man with pink hair, muscles and a nose piercing walking down the street blubbering. He couldn't take the car. It wasn't his, it was Tyler's that they arrived in. 

The thought, the thought of his long term boyfriend sat in that house, his home, being offered a marriage proposal to another person, a woman, a human that was not Joshua Dun.


	2. A Little Sick And Tired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betrayed feeling...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay I was busy finishing my other fanfiction haha, here's for after the long wait, I kinda think it sucks :0 sorry about any grammar ^•^

It wasn't betrayal, it wasn't. It was the single thought running through Josh's messed up head right now, but Tyler didn't know about it. He didn't know that he was going to have a marriage proposal thrown his way. 

Luckily for Josh, he carried his wallet and phone at all times, so he decided to just grab a bus and go back. Tyler obviously didn't care enough to come and chase him. "Stop it." Josh said to himself and walked towards the bus that was heading his way. 

"Maybe this is what Tyler wanted, maybe he wasn't gay after all." He wiped his tears and watched the bus doors slide open. He paid his fee and sat down, now remembering whether this bus was actually going to take him home or not. 

Josh sat down by a frail old woman and kept a little room so he didn't squash her, she looked fragile as it was.

"Dear, are you okay?" She asked Josh and handed over a tissue, everyone could see the glassy and puffy eyes on Josh's face. "Y-yeah I-I just---" He stuttered and shrugged his shoulders. Right now, right at this moment, he could tell this old lady everything, just to feel calm and take a weight off his shoulders. But that lump in his throat was going to go any point if he tried to say anything, it was best to keep quiet about it. 

"Thank you." Josh said and felt the softness in his hand. The softness reminded him of his bed and he just wanted to be back there right now and forget about the world, forget about Tyler, just for a moment.

|-/ \\-|

A wave of anxiety flew over Tyler's face as he continued to listen to what the parents were saying. "I mean our Jenna is so beautiful and we've known your families since you were the tiniest of kids." Mrs Black chimed. Jenna sat by his sister, blushing but managed to have a calm and collected smile on her face. 

Tyler on the other hand, looked as if someone shot him. He felt the bullet sink deeper when Josh stood up and left his side. He could imagine why. Tyler finds some strength and begins to stand up, but Zack pushes him back down. "Little bro, come on, you can't leave the families hanging, tell them." He ushers. But Tyler doesn't want this right now, he wants to run after the pink haired male that he loved with every fibre of his being.

"C-can't I have a little more time?" Tyler asked, just so he could get out of there and chase after Josh. 

"I mean well sure honey, I mean we've already booked a holiday for mine and your family to spend a little more time together and for you and Jenna to know each other a little better." Mrs Black said and smiled. 

These people were crazy.

"I just want a little time and I-I promise I'll give you an answer." 

"Okay son we---" 

Mr Black was cut off by Tyler storming out of the door. They were all shocked but the male didn't care, he needed his boyfriend.

Josh wasn't in the car. He wasn't anywhere to be seen. Tyler threw a hand in his hair and then remembered he had his cell, and instantly dialled Josh.

"It's spooky Jim, please leave a message I can approve." 

It went straight to voicemail. 

He cursed in his mind and decided to just get into his car, hoping he'd see Josh on the way. As he started up the vehicle, his phone rang and he quickly grabbed the device. It wasn't Josh. 

"Hello?" 

"Tyler honey, what happened, are you okay?" His mother asked.

"I'm fine mom, I just have something to do." With that, he hung up. Yes it sounded rude and harsh but they did this to him. If only he didn't tag Josh along, but then one day he'd have to explain this to him and Josh would still feel betrayed. This wasn't fair at all.

|-/ \\-|

"Don't worry dear, you're probably just thinking too much." The woman stated, patting Josh on the back as he puked into a bush, it was nothing much. The two had clambered off the bus near a stop as Josh felt queasy and ended up puking into a bush.

"Oh my God, Josh!" Tyler exclaimed, running up to his lover, so glad he found him. "I looked all over for you Josh, where did you go? I was worried sick." Tyler said and exhaled, rubbing his lovers back.

"Josh are you okay?" Tyler asked with concern written all over his face. Josh didn't feel the need to reply to him, he just wanted to be relaxed and calm right now. 

"Don't worry dear, just a little bus sick is all, you take good care of him now." With that, the frail old bus lady walked away and Josh shouted a "thank you" at her.

"Josh." Tyler called softly. "Look Tyler, I hate that you tagged me along like that, how could you lie to my face Tyler, are you trying to get me back for something I don't know. Are you hurting me to make yourself feel better?" Josh asked, throwing questions towards his lovers way. 

He was so unsure, so lost, what did Tyler want from him?

Tyler was hurt, did Josh not trust him at all? Yeah he got it, he hurt Josh by lying but the marriage proposal was going to happen either way. 

"Look baby I'm sorry, if you weren't there I would have to tell you eventually, anyway, you'd be even more betrayed, at least you saw it first hand." Tyler stated, taking Josh's hand. "Yeah makes me feel hundred percent better(!)" Josh replied.

|-/ \\-|

Tyler and Josh finally reached their apartment and Josh went straight into bed. He was tired, he felt sick, he was torn from today. He hated the way those families stared at him like he was a piece of shit. Maybe Tyler did deserve better, maybe Jenna was the one for him in the end. Josh was probably just made to die alone. 

Tyler on the other hand, sat by the kitchen table and drank the darkest coffee from Josh's coffee stash he could find. It tasted bittersweet, just the way their relationship was right now. Last night they were fucking on tables, loosening the hinges and making each other feel like they were out of this world. And in such short time, their comets collided and not in a positive way.

He wanted to hug Josh again and tell him that he wasn't going anywhere. That he wasn't going to marry Jenna.

Only one name rung repeatedly in his head and that was Josh's.

He sipped on the dark liquid and heard a door creak, he knew it was Josh but Tyler tensed up a little, he was nervous. Maybe Josh was going to leave him.

"Tyler..?" His voice called sweetly.

"...Can you hug me please? I can't sleep without you." Josh said.

Immediately, Tyler threw his chair and approached his lover with open arms. "I will do anything for you baby." He said and crashed his lips against Josh's plump ones. They pulled away and got into bed, holding each other for warmth.

"Baby boy, you know I won't leave you for anything in the world." Tyler said kissing Josh's neck and jawline. 

Josh moaned in response. "I know Ty, I just...I thought too much." Josh replied, feeling Tyler suck on his skin. It felt so good.

"I love you baby boy." Tyler said.

"I love you too." 

And with that being said, Josh and Tyler continued to make love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check out my other story, The Kingdom In the Clouds. It's something different to what I usually write. It's only six chapters including an epilogue which I will add soon, it would mean the world to me if you commented and tell me what you thought. 
> 
> Here's the link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/8785522/chapters/20140462
> 
> Thank you so much for the support I appreciate every single one of you, even the guests ^•^
> 
> Have a legit awesome day <3 stay alive frens |-/


	3. Just like that...forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why does Tyler keep forgetting he's with Josh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait amigos ^•^

Josh's eyes fluttered open as a narrow beam of light flashed onto his face, disrupting his slumber. His head was resting on Tyler's chest and he could hear the latter's gentle heartbeat and light snores. He was so lucky to have a man like Tyler in his life.

Josh couldn't help but remember all their times together, especially when they first met, it was love at first sight but unsure of whether Tyler was gay. He could never tell over text, they were so young and kept each other so happy during the bad times. The treehouse where they lost their virginity to each other, Josh chuckled fondly at the memories and then lifted his head to catch a glimpse of his other half's sleepy face. His lips were slightly parted, eyes shut and his skin felt so warm, so welcoming. Josh could lie there all day, admiring Tyler's beauty but bodies have great timing. Josh felt the urge to want to be sick. Carefully removing himself from Tyler's grip, he got off his bed and strode into the bathroom, leaning over the toilet bowl. "Breathe in, breathe out." He told himself, feeling a weird swirl in his stomach and oesophagus. That's when his stomach clenched and his mouth opened automatically. Nothing came out but a yellow acid and Josh shivered, tears rolling down his face. Josh hated being sick, it hurt when his stomach clenched and so tears would naturally fall out of his eyes. He felt the urge to want to be sick because of the taste in his mouth. Instead, he grabbed his toothbrush and began to brush his pearly whites.

He stepped out of the bathroom to catch Tyler smiling in his sleep and talking to himself. "No hehe, Josh, no tickle." He said ever so cutely. Josh smiled brightly, eyes crinkling in the corners. Josh grabbed his phone and snapped a picture of his boyfriend's smile. "New screensaver." He mumbled to himself and then put his phone down heading off into the shower. He washed his bright pink hair with strawberry shampoo letting it bubble up all over the top of his head, closing his eyes. The heat of the water relaxing against his skin, the droplets making him sigh in content and then a sneaky pair of arms making their way around his waist. "Spooky butt." The lazy morning voice called. Tyler rested his head on Josh's back, taking in his warmth. "Hmmm spooky butt you smell so sweet." He says and places kisses on the shorter mans back. Josh closes his eyes, letting the bubbles wash away and moaned at Tyler's electrifying touches. "Only for you smol butt." He replied.

Josh helped clean Tyler and Tyler helped clean Josh and then for a few moments, they held each other close. "Any plans for today then?" Tyler asked, looking dreamily into Josh's coffee swirled eyes, falling in love over and over again. "Well, I'm up to doing anything unless it's with you." Josh states and moves in to rub his nose against Tyler's. "Netflix and chill?" Tyler asks for a joke, knowing his others half's reply. "Ewwww, noooo." He says and pouts.

The two exit the shower, Tyler holding Josh from the back. The taller male collided onto the shorter male and they both acted all cutesy on their bed before changing into their clothes. Tyler wore his black shirt and floral kimono and black skinny jeans. Josh wore his long black shirt (one from blurry face, it's like long and reaches his lower thighs like a dress) and he accompanied that with black jeans.

"Let's go out for breakfast today, my pink hair cute spooky butt needs pampering." Tyler stated, landing both of his hands in Josh's back pockets. "Oh I do?" Josh asks, hands reaching Tyler's shoulders. "Yeah I mean you let me touch you, make you feel good, make you scream my name." He whispers closely into the younger mans ears, making him shiver. "Tyyyyyy." He whined. "Okay, okay." Tyler said backing and away and signalling his little pink haired babe to walk out, Tyler followed and slapped his ass. "Gotta love that spooky ass." He says and chuckles cutely.

|-/ \\-| 

After a ten minute drive, Tyler parks up at a restaurant. "Only you deserve the best baby." He says to Josh and smiles before exiting the car. "What about you? I mean you're just as important." Josh said and walked along side Tyler now. "You give me your body, your heart and your love, what more possibly could I need?" He asks, grabbing the pink haired males hip, just to tickle him. 

"Hehe--Tyyyyyy." He chuckled and ran inside the building. The two took their seats at a table, away from the windows and near the back, where less light hit them. 

"I know Josh, since I love you so much, how about you order for me and I order for you, let's see what crazy food we get." Tyler suggested, earning a huge grin from the younger. "Good idea, Ty, you just might regret it." Josh said and smirked. They called the waitress over and ordered each other something, whispering behind their menus.

"You're gonna love me for this." Josh said and stuck his tongue out but Tyler couldn't help take in his beauty. His pink haired boyfriend was a piece of art, his exhibit that he personally owned, Josh was priceless and he was all Tyler's, just Tyler's. 

After a few minutes of chatting and admiring each other, the waitress had returned with their orders. Josh rubbed his hands together and turned to look at Tyler. 

"Okay so this is for Tyler." She said and started to place whatever on the table. Tyler laughed when an ice cream sundae was placed in front of him and a stack of steaming chocolate chip pancakes with syrup. "And for Josh." She said, trying not to laugh. 

She placed down a glass of water. "Please enjoy." She said and smiled. Josh really wanted to laugh, he doesn't know why. Why didn't he think of that? "I-I can't believe this Ty, you fat bean." Josh said and manages to pout. "Water really?" He asked. Tyler grins and puts a hand under his chin watching Josh. "It's mountain peak water babe, the finest kind." He said and winked, biting his lip. Josh leaned back in his seat, arms crossed. 

"Awwww is someone a little grouchy kitten?" Tyler coos in a little baby voice. Josh looks away and still has his arms folded. Tyler stands up and approaches Josh, setting his hands over his eyes. The waitress is in view and Tyler nods towards her. "What are you doing water boy?" Josh asked, not even attempting to remove his lovers hands. The waitress lays a tray on the table and walks away, Tyler mouthing a thank you. 

"Are you done now Ty? Can we go home?" Josh asked like an annoyed little kid. "Have your breakfast first Spooky butt." 

"I don't want water for break---"

The pink haired male stopped talking when the hands were removed from his eyes. He stared at a stack of pancakes before him, on top of them was chocolate sauce that spelt out, "I'm sorry Josh, I love you really though." beside it was a cup of coffee with a heart swirled into the drink.

Josh couldn't help the smile that creeped onto his face. The male stood up from his own seat and made his way to Tyler's and took a seat on his legs, arms wrapping around his shoulders. "Thank you baby." Josh said and kissed his nose. Tyler smiled brightly and moved his hands to Josh's lower back. "Do you know how many people could be staring at us right now?" Tyler asked, raising an eyebrow. Josh looks around and notices mostly teenage girls looking at them, all with adoration and mouthing awwws. "Can't I hug my smol butt in public?" Josh asked with a pout. Tyler just leaned in and pecked his lovers lips. 

|-/ \\-| 

The two ate away and shared the ice-cream which Josh had ordered, Tyler was so grateful since it really hit the spot. 

Not long after they paid the bill and received a few "you guys are so adorable" comments from the teenage females and they left. "Wanna head to the mall?" Tyler asked. "Why not." Josh said and got into the car, turning on the radio. Tyler started up his vehicle and drove to their destination, one hand on Josh's thigh. "Babe, thank you for breakfast. Seriously, I don't know where I would be without you. I could just fuck you in the car right now." Josh said, earning a chuckle from Tyler, who not long after parked the car somewhere secluded and let Josh love him and also he helped Josh *wink wink* A few minutes later they were back on the road to the mall. Tyler rolled the windows down, just to get rid of any fog.

"In the car sex is so good." Josh said, fiddling with the radio again. "We should do it more often babe, and your moans and squeals are so hot, you're a walking sex bomb spooky butt." Tyler said and chuckled. "Tyler Robert Joseph, you did not just call me that." Josh fakingly gasped, enjoying his mans company. 

Tyler parked up and together they walked into the mall, examining a few shops. 

Josh looked inside a music shop admiring the drum kits, Tyler taking mental notes of what to get Josh since his birthday was coming up soon, very soon.

The two just laughed and walked side by side in the mall, that was until Tyler spotted his parents along side Jenna. 

"Tyler!" His mother called, Josh's smile instantly disappearing. "Tyler honey I've been trying to call you all night and this morning." His mother says and motions for her son to give her a hug. Josh stays put and watches as Tyler hugs his mother. 

"I didn't even realise." He said. It was true, he barely checked his phone all day. "I needed to tell you that I've booked us all a holiday. We're going to England for a week." His mother chimed, over the moon. He'd never seen her this happy and that for him. "We're just shopping for a few outfits now since me and your father have already purchased tickets." She said, turning to Jenna. "Jenna since you are here with us, why don't you and Tyler go check some clothes out to take with you to England."

Josh's heart sank to the ground. Tyler didn't argue, nor did he turn down the suggestion. Jenna smiled at Tyler and like that they both walked away. He was so dumbfounded. What the fuck had just happened? Mr and Mrs Joseph turned to look at Josh, they were all glares. Mrs Joseph jerked her head up and walked away, leaving Josh alone. 

Alone and sad, the pink haired male walked out of the mall, not in the mood for anything because his boyfriend had gone and done something stupid again.

Josh decided to sit by Tyler's car, waiting for him. Josh had forgot his wallet so no bus home this time. He cursed himself for being so forgetful and just stood by.

A minute became a couple, a couple became thirty and thirty instantly turned to two long hours. Who was Josh kidding? The man he loved had forgotten about him, just like that. 

He wasn't gonna wait any longer. The man left the cars side and decided to just walk back, it was a long walk too.

|-/ \\-|

Tyler wasn't even sure what he was doing. It's like he stopped thinking. One minute the man was stood with the love of his life and the next he was in a woman's shop watching Jenna model a few outfits. Yes they were sort of friends in high school but nothing else. 

"What do you think about this Tyler? What about that Tyler? Tyler? Tyler? Tyler?"

He wanted out of here so bad. But he saw how happy his mother was. She was finally proud of him for once. Mrs Joseph was so hard to impress, she always had high standards and Tyler knew he lost it when he almost got admitted into a mental asylum. 

The two left the shop and met back up with Mr and Mrs Joseph. They drove to a restaurant where Jenna's parents were already waiting for them before hand. 

"How cute are these two." Mrs Black chimed looking over at the two. "I can't wait to give the designer details about the wedding dress." She was saying to Mrs Joseph who nodded in excitement.

Tyler was beyond confused right now. What wedding dress? He hadn't even agreed to this. 

"I haven't even agreed to this wedding yet." He said with a stern look. His parents were quick to dismiss him with a "Be quiet dear." 

In all this mess up, he forgot his Josh and cursed. "Fuck." he scrambled out of his seat and stood up. "Where are you going? Don't leave Jenna alone." His mother stated. 

"I'm not getting married mom, I don't want to, it's all off." He says and heads out the door. Tyler pulls out his cell and notices all the missed calls from his mother and nothing from Josh. He felt like the world's biggest asshole ever.   

The mall was closing now and Josh couldn't possibly still be there. Tyler got into the drivers seat and dialled Josh. 

Voicemail.

He tried once

Twice

Three times

Voicemail.

"For fuck sake." He cursed and drove off back to their apartment. Maybe Josh went home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to update, I've been writing this for two days and got stuck. I feel like I scared everyone away since no ones really talking to me anymore, I guess the loneliness really is my best friend.
> 
> Anyway thank you for reading guys, comment so I can reply to you ^___^ 
> 
> Stay alive |-/


	4. His Request

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh's answer for Tyler's struggle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really feel like I'm slacking I feel like I should just give up writing. You guys deserve so much better.

Tyler finally arrived at his apartment. He noticed that Josh's shoes were already lined up, so he was home. The taller male sighed in relief, his boyfriend was home safe. Silently, he crept towards their room and saw Josh's form sleeping on the bed. It was around 8pm, Josh must have been sad and tired. It hurt Tyler. How could he have been so stupid, so reckless, just like that he left Josh in the middle of a mall. He must have felt shitty and worthless.

Tyler repeatedly knocked his thumb knuckle on his forehead. He was a fool. He didn't deserve Josh's loyalty or his love, but he loved him so much. Josh was the sort of person who made Tyler no longer afraid of being himself. 

The dark haired male got himself ready for bed and decided also he needed an early night. He admired his boyfriends sleepy form. Pink curls strewn all over the place, his lips puckered together and chest rising and falling majestically, like an angel. With that being said, Tyler drifted off to sleep. 

|-/ \\-|

Birds chirped in the early morning. It was eight thirty. Quite early for Tyler, he loved sleeping in till late hours, just like Josh did. 

His arm travelled to Josh's side of the bed and his hand did not find Josh's body. Tyler sat up and looked around, he couldn't hear the shower, nor was the pink haired individual in the room. Confused, he threw off his covers and walked out into the main room. 

He sighed with regret when he noticed Josh sleeping away on the couch. Who was Tyler to think that Josh was going to be okay with him after ditching him yesterday? It was a foolish thought. Josh was always so cheerful and so kind and loving, Tyler loved him, but even he knew there was a limit to upsetting Josh and he crossed it. 

He felt so bad, he would beg and plead on his knees, just for Josh to forgive him for being so selfish.

Tyler decided to quickly get dressed and make breakfast for his man, obviously it wouldn't be enough of an apology and he knew it but today he promised to only give him his full attention. His Josh was one of a kind and he needed to stop pulling stunts.   
   
Today he decided to make a full English breakfast because he knew how much Josh loved it and the smell would definitely wake him up from his sleep. And he was right. Josh stirred uncomfortably on the couch and then his eyes flashed open. The pink haired male remembered that he woke up in the middle of the night and saw Tyler in bed. He couldn't take his presence so he got up and left to sleep on the couch. Josh had walked for so long yesterday, his thighs and legs hurt, not to mention his head spun numerous times and almost got hit by a car. 

Josh winced when he realised how stiff and in pain his legs really were. "Fuck." He cursed and managed to get off the couch. He ignored Tyler and his presence in the kitchen. If this man was able to leave him stranded alone in a mall then Josh was capable of leaving this room without him knowing. Two can play those games right?

Josh was silently walking out of the room but not fast enough as Tyler caught him. "Josh.." He called, noticing the strain on his face. "Are you okay? Are you in pain?" Tyler asked, dropping everything and running up to his boyfriend. Josh dismisses his statements and continues to walk. Yeah it hurts, he'd rather take the physical pain over emotional any day. Tyler was an expert at emotional. 

"Baby..." Tyler said, hand out trying to help. "Please just..." With that, Josh walked away into their room, probably to take a shower. "You need to make more of an effort Tyler Robert Joseph." He told himself and returned back to breakfast, hoping Josh would eat it and maybe forgive him. 

Yeah not that easily. 

Tyler was tending to breakfast when he heard a crash, it didn't sound very good either. Quickly turning everything off and throwing his apron to the ground, Tyler ran into his room and straight to the shower. Josh had slipped inside the tub, taking down a whole shelf of conditioners and shampoos with him. He was hardly trying to get up. The taller male quickly approached him and grabbed Josh by the armpits. 

"Don't worry, I've got ya." Tyler says and sits Josh on the floor grabbing him a towel. His legs ached so much, they were so stiff. The male was unsure of what was happening to him, and whatever it was, he despised it. 

Tyler carried his other half to the bed and started to grab some clothes for him. Josh on the other hand, puts his head into his hands and sobs. If Tyler wasn't here, he'd still be on the floor, in pain and crying. But it doesn't excuse the pain he causes. The leg pain was because of him. Josh walked for so long yesterday, how could Tyler be so absent minded?

Tyler kneels infront of Josh and takes away his hands, noticing his cheeks wet and tears streaming. "Oh baby boy, I'm so so sorry, I don't know what the hell happened. Baby, I wish I could rewind last night and just start all over. I'm such an ass hat and I understand if you wanna leave me but please forgive me." He stated, voice shaking. "I don't want you to be hurt Josh, physically or emotionally, I wanna keep you safe from harm, I promise you Jish, I love you from the bottom of my heart. Please." He wipes away Joshs tears. He doesn't speak but simply stares and instantly a pair of arms are hugging him. 

"Tyler, I don't know what I'd do without you." He cries into his shoulder, still naked in a towel. Tyler on the hand feels so guilty, so so guilty. Josh forgives him so easily and he steps on his trust like it's nothing. He's a terrible human being he tells himself. 

Josh gets changed with the help of Tyler and he carries the pink haired male into the main room and seats him on the couch. 

"Breakfast on the couch for you mister, today is Josh gets better and well day." Tyler says and hands over a plate to Josh, seating down next to him. He turns on the TV to watch something entertaining and Tyler has something he wants to get off his chest. 

"I turned the marriage down." 

Josh looked over at Tyler, who was just poking his breakfast and then shoving it into his mouth. He chewed, swallowed and opened his mouth. 

"I mean I'm pretty fucking gay, and they won't accept me for me, I always have to be something they want. I'm not marrying Jenna for no one. I stormed out and came home." He said, Josh still not able to say anything.

Its quite between the two, it's awkward even though the TV is turned on.

"I love you." Josh says, with a smile lighting up his face.

Tyler turns to look at him, adoration twinkling in his eyes. 

"Joshua William Dun I-"

Tyler is cut off by his mobile phone buzzing and bleeping within his pockets.

It's his brother. Tyler is tempted to throw the small device away to stop all of his family annoying him. 

"What?" Tyler yells down the line, pissed off. Then instantly regretting it.

"What?!" He screamed and stood up, spilling his breakfast all over the floor. "I-I'll be right there." He stuttered and threw his phone down. Josh was jumped and just looked up at Tyler who looked stressed beyond anything.

"What's wrong?" Josh mumbles. 

"My mom, she tried to kill herself. She's in hospital." 

Josh rolled his eyes. His mother was such a conniving and evil woman. Why was she so hellbent on getting Tyler married? Surely it was his life and his choice. 

Tyler bent down to pick up the food he dropped on the floor but Josh stopped him. "It's fine, you go, your mom needs you." He gives him a smile. With that, he's out of the apartment, faster than lightening. Josh knows he's not gonna pick it up, he's in so much pain, he can feel it whooshing up and down his legs, it feels like they're being restrained. He wants to be sick and wants to cry, so he pulls out his cell.

|-/ \\-|

"Zack!" Tyler yells running down the halls of the hospital. "Why are you here?" His sister asked with a sour tone. "I'm here to see mom."

"And who are you to her? I mean she meant nothing to you yesterday in that restaurant when you screamed at her and ran away, leaving her to face the embarrassment. You're a selfish asshole Tyler." She spat. 

"Just back off a moment." Zack says and pushes his sister away. "Just go see mom." Tyler nods and looks towards his mothers room. He wants to just run away and go back to Josh. 

The door creaks open as he pushes it. Inside is his dad sat by the mother. His dad catches a glimpse of Tyler and already has rage in his eyes. "What are you doing here? Haven't you done enough damage?" He asked, holding his wife's hand.

Tyler turns to his mother, she's staring into space. "Mom?" He calls hoping it would bring her back. "Honey, will you please get me some water?" She asks his father who stands up and pours it in for her. "Mom it's me, Tyler." He says and approaches her, but somewhat flinches away. Tyler feels his eyes stinging. Silent treatment. 

|-/ \\-|

Josh is able to stand up from the couch and answer the door. He holds onto the lock for dear life and slowly pulls it open.

"Jishwa!" Brendon screams hugging Josh and squeezing him. "Don't let go!" Josh requested, knowing he'd fall. "Are you okay?" Dallon asked stepping in and closing the door. "I can't feel my legs." 

Brendon picks Josh up instead and leads him to the couch and examines the food on the floor. "Are you okay? What's been going on?" Brendon asked really concerned and helping Dallon to clean up. 

"Nothing just Tyler has gone to the hospital to see his mom." Josh says and closes his eyes, enduring pain. 

"why?" They both ask in unison. 

"Momma drama." 

|-/ \\-|

He feels so guilty, so annoyed, he could just punch someone right now. Tyler was beyond infuriated. There was no explaining this to Josh. He was gonna leave him. He knew it.

Tyler stood outside the door of the apartment sharply exhaled. "You've got this Joseph." He said and slapped his face.

The door opened and the three inside turned to see Tyler. Dallon and Brendon weren't happy with the current situation. 

"Where have you been?" Brendon asked accusingly, anger and bitterness in his voice.

The four sat down, Tyler explaining himself to the couple who crowded Josh. 

"And now she gave me silent treatment, almost disowned me on the fucking spot. She overdosed last night because of fucking me and saying no!" Tyler sobbed into his hands. Josh was heartbroken, he'd never seen Tyler like this ever. He was always the strongest one and this hurt him. 

"Shes not eating, she's killing herself. And I can't do nothing." He cries, Dallon now putting an arm around the man.

"T-There is." Josh spoke out, the three men watching him now.

"Say yes Tyler." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise to try better, even I know this chapter sucked. I'm trying, I guess I'm just really tired it's 3am and ive been up since 10am so yeah I mean not very ideal.
> 
> Stay alive my frens |-/


	5. To The Moon And Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Departure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this is a filler, but I hope it's good enough for you guys I really do <3

It had been three days since Josh's request but things have been good. Tyler has been treating Josh like a king since he's so sick. He tells his boyfriend to just get a check up but he knows how afraid he is of hospitals and doctors in general. 

Josh is sat down on the bed, watching Tyler packing away for his holiday to England. 

It hurts that Tyler is going, that he's going to marry that really pretty woman but still he loves Josh, so so much. 

Tyler took a seat on the bed by his suit case, he was so absent from himself, Josh noticed it. Tyler's eyes twinkled and he was ever so still. "I know you don't wanna go." Josh spoke, taking his boyfriend's hand. Tyler just ends up falling apart. "J-Josh, this is a marriage, a commitment, my parents are making me commit to something that I don't want to commit to. Do they even realise what they're asking for?" He asked, scrubbing his face (like he does in the end of the lane boy mv). 

"It's all going to be okay baby, trust me, you will be fine." Josh said, rubbing his hand back and forth with his thumb.

"I'm not doing it Josh, I'm going to come out with the truth, whether they like it or not, I love only you so much, to the moon and back." Tyler said and wiped his face enough so it was dry. He landed onto the bed and leaned in to kiss Josh. 

"I'm going to miss that so much." Josh said with a smile but inside he was disheartened. 

"Are you sure you can look after yourself Josh? I still think I should call Brendon and Dallon to stay with you." Tyler said. Josh shook his head, listen I'm fine okay, I just have my moments, you know me Ty, I'll be extremely fine." The pink haired male smiled.

"I'll be calling you everyday Josh, Skype, text, call, whatever I can to get to you baby." 

|-/ \\-| 

"No mom, I'm fine, absolutely fine taking a cab, I'm pretty sure they can survive without me, yeah I get it. Don't worry I'll make it. " Tyler said on the phone, rolling his eyes repeatedly whilst keeping a tight hold on Josh's hand. "By how many? Oh okay, thanks bye." Tyler hung up and lodged his phone back into his skinny jeans pocket. 

"Can't run from them I swear." Tyler says and shakes his head. Josh listens. "I'd rather be sat here with my pink cotton candy hunk than in a boring lame car full of annoying people." Tyler said smiling over at Josh. He understands his silence. He's going away for a week, hopefully it goes by instantly. 

Tyler stares out of the window, analysing buildings that go by. "Hey dude, will you take us there?" Tyler requested, pointing at a fair that seemed to be running. The car had swerved from it's original route to the carnival Tyler had his eye on. This will make Josh happy, surely. "What's wrong Ty, you need to get to the airport." He said, looking towards his boyfriend who had a bright smile on his face. "The flight has been delayed baby, let's just spend some time together." Tyler leaned in to peck Josh on the lips and then grabbed the door when the vehicle stopped. The cab driver agreed to wait for them and the two happy boys jumped out. 

Josh and Tyler both sat on all the rides, the roller-coaster, ferris wheel, dodgems, waltzer even the children's helter skelter. "Haha haha." Josh was laughing, he couldn't stop. The man hadn't had this much fun in what seemed like forever.

"Josh." Tyler called panting. "Hahaha." He continues, falling to the floor, holding his stomach. Rides always did this to Josh, it made Tyler smile so much. 

He gave the younger a minute and then Josh finally calmed down. "I'm sorry Tyler, you know what they do to me." He says, wiping away tears. Tyler puts out a hand for Josh to grab and grunts as he pulls him up. 

"Where to now?" Tyler asked, grabbing his boyfriend by his waist. "Tyyyyyy I'm hungweee." Josh whined like a little kid. "What does my little Jishwa wanna eat?" Tyler asked, using a hand to pinch his cute cheek. Josh looked around as they walked and a dessert stand really got his attention.

"Oh my gosh! Yes Tyler!" He yelled pointing towards it. The two stride towards the small hut and line up. Everything catches Josh's eyes. The ice cream sundaes, chocolate cake and ice cream, waffles and ice cream. 

"Next!" A woman calls from the front and the two men shuffle forward. "So what would you like today?" She asks. Without any hesitation, Josh is already ordering without consulting Tyler. "I would like a crepe with chocolate and vanilla ice cream please." He says and smacks his lips together. "Is that all?" Tyler decides to order the same thing with bubble gum and raspberry ripple ice cream. 

Joshs mouth waters as the woman places two warm crepes on separate plate. She begins to spread them both with nutella, placing fresh sliced strawberries on top. The crepe was then folded in half and placed into two take out boxes. On top of the folded crepe, chocolate sauce was squirted generously. This was accompanied by chocolate and fudge pieces and two scoops of the ice cream they both requested. Along with cutlery, the lady places them in front of Tyler and Josh. "Ten dollars please." The older male pulls out a note, both thank the lady and then walk away hand in hand, both holding their desserts. 

Somewhere in the fair, they take a seat. "Ohhhh!" Josh moans with satisfaction, his mouth watering up at all the chocolate and sweetness. Pure bliss. "That's the stuff." He chimes and closes his eyes to savour the sweet. "I didn't know a dessert could turn you on this much." Tyler stated and chuckles. "It hits the spot more than you do baby." Josh jokes, earning a gasp from Tyler but the two laughed it off.

It wasn't long before they were back in the cab on the way to the airport. Three hours passed like three minutes, night was falling upon the city but the fair lights still glistened in the darkness. 

Josh had his head rested on Tyler's shoulder. He wanted to scream so loud, cry so hard and beg Tyler not to go. This was the best time he had in a long time and he wanted more days like these with Tyler. Making silly jokes, laughing their heads off on fairground rides, taking selfies and kissing and hugging and eventually making love.  Josh craved that everyday would be like today. Tyler had a hold on Josh's hand and squeezed it as they approached the entrance of the airport. 

Josh lifted up his head and swallowed back a lump in his throat. "One week." He told himself. "Just one week." 

Tyler left the cab with Josh and paid the driver. He took his luggage and headed for the main doors with Josh stood beside him. Inside was full of people, each waiting for their own flights to different destinations.  
 

"Tyler!" A females voice called. It was his sister. She was waving her hand about, signalling him to approach them. Jenna's and his family stood together mingling. Josh felt so out of place again, he just wanted to go home. 

"Tyler thank God you're here, we're all going to board now." His mother said and glanced over Josh. No smile, no emotion. "You guys go on ahead." Tyler said and the group agreed, leaving Josh and Tyler to have a moment. "Baby, I can't believe I'm doing this. I don't know if I'll be able to spend a week without you." Tyler said and took Josh's hands in his. "Baby boy I love you so fucking much, to the moon and back." With that Tyler engulfs Josh in a tight hug, squeezing the life out of him. The pink haired man on the other hand, holds back all the tears pricking in his eyes. Once he stops holding them back, he knows he'll become a teary mess. "Bye Jish, I'll see you very soon." Tyler quickly pecked him on the lips and grabbed his suitcase.

Josh was so desperate to say I love you too but he couldn't. There was a massive lump in his throat and his tears were on the verge of spilling. Tyler turned around and waved goodbye, Josh lifting his arm and waving his goodbye too. 

When he disappeared out of sight, Josh took a cab home. 

After giving an address he sat in the backseat, breathing in and out, trying to remember how to make conversation like a normal human being. "just for a week." He told himself again and then exhaled. 

Josh tested himself on the phone as Brendon was now calling him.

"Yo Josh." 

"S'up." Josh replies perfectly.  
   
"He gone?" 

"Y-yeah." 

"Want us to come around tonight, have a little sleep over?" Brendon asks.

"I'll be fine dude, you and Dallon have fun, there's a marathon of X files on TV." He lied.

"That's sick dude, okay so just call us if you need anything bro, stay safe."

The call ended and not long after Josh had arrived back at his apartment. He wasn't even sure if the X files were actually on TV. 

"Thanks." He said to the driver and paid him.

Josh stood outside his door, he knew Tyler wasn't here anymore, for the time being. 

The male unlocked the door and stepped inside, his eyes landed on Tyler's jacket which was spread on top of the couch. Tyler didn't wanna take it since he already packed two others.

Josh leaned against the door and broke down immediately. His back slid against the varnished wood and he slumped to the floor. Who was he kidding? How could he spend seven days without Tyler?  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and leaving any comments, comments are always much appreciated they're the best kind of motivation :,) stay alive my frens |-/ I love you <3


	6. Not important

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some good news ^•^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about this chapter, I think it lacks but I'm sorry I'm not myself lately apologies my frens |-/

Josh fell asleep that night, clutching Tylers pillow ever so tightly, tears running freely down his face. He missed his presence so much, though Josh did avoid Tyler when he forgot about him but even in those times he was secretly glad that Tyler was still there. Sleeping wasn't the same, he became somewhat an insomniac overnight, he couldn't stop thinking about what Tyler and his soon to be wife were doing. Maybe they were happy, maybe Josh was just an interfering third wheel. His thoughts were poisonous and had driven him hysterical.

The pink haired male, ever so slowly opened his red, puffy, crusty eyes. It hurt when the light hit them so instantly, he shut them again. Arms pulling Tyler's pillow close, his scent lingering on it. 

Rubbing both eyes with one hand, Josh finally opened them again and looked at his phone. It was 2:33pm, but he didn't care, he wanted to see if there were any notifications from Tyler. There was a five hour time difference between the two places.

Sadly, there was nothing.

Josh felt like he was being too pushy. The flight was around seven hours. And it set off from the airport at 9pm. Tyler landed around four in the morning probably in Josh's time and was most likely jet lagged. He shook the thoughts, he just missed him a little too much, it wasn't wrong, he loved Tyler a lot.

After a quick shower, Josh made his way into the kitchen and made himself some coffee and turned on the TV. Spongebob was on early in the morning and Josh felt bile rising in his throat when he saw spongebob drinking his own tears. The male quickly ran to the sink and retched. The burning acid spewed from his mouth and he turned on the sink to drain the liquid away. 

He was failing to understand what was going on with him. He had been sick everyday, he never told Tyler, it would just worry him. And his parents would just hate Josh even more if he stopped Tyler from going to England. 

After draining it down, Josh grabbed his coffee and took a seat, ignoring the TV. He was thinking about himself. Maybe he was really ill, maybe something was wrong inside his body, maybe it was a sign that he was going to die. 

No, he couldn't live without Tyler, he couldn't die. His thoughts were futile.

For his own safety and for Tyler, Josh decided that he would get a check up at a local health centre, he didn't need to enter the scary hospitals. 

|-/ \\-|

He sat in the waiting room, waiting for his name to be called and for whatever scary tests they were going to perform on him.

"Joshua William Dun." A female calls as she pokes her head around a door. Josh stands up from his seat and gives a smile to the lady. 

He follows her into a room and is motioned to take a seat.

"So Josh, how can I help you today? she asked in a very sweet tone.

"Well basically I'm not doing very well, I'm feeling very sick lately and tired, my thighs hurt and so do my feet and legs and it has been going on for a while. My boyfriend tried to persuade me to get checked out but I refused, so here I am." 

The doctor took Josh for a few tests and made him wait in the waiting room again. 

He'll be okay, it will be nothing serious, hopefully.

Josh was called back in.

"So Josh..." She begins, biting her lip to contain a smile. Josh tenses, a little worried and a little scared.

"Congratulations, you're two weeks pregnant!" She chimes and laughs with a bright smile. 

Josh on the other hand, covers his mouth with his hands in shock, a smile also growing behind them. 

He wants to cry. He wants to scream with joy.

Josh was carrying his and Tyler's first child, their very own baby pilot. 

"Thank you thank you thank you so much." Josh said standing up, hugging the doctor as she did too. 

"Please take good care of yourself Josh, make sure you get plenty of rest and make sure you put your feet up, let the boyfriend do the looking after for you." She said and smiled. He nodded his head excitedly and dismissed himself from the building. 

So much happiness was bubbling up inside of him. This baby was a sign that Tyler and Josh were going to be together forever, this baby will save their relationship.

|-/ \\-|

As the pink haired male walks into his apartment, he drops his keys on a small shelf and takes off his shoes, sitting himself down on the couch, reliving the moment that had just occurred. 

"Baby Joshler, Joseph Dun, William Joseph." He chimed, baby names coming to mind.

Josh was so excited for Tyler to come back, obviously he was going to tell him over the phone but coming back and being a couple again sounded amazing. 

Jenna didn't worry him anymore, he couldn't care less about her or Tyler's family, this was a dream come true. 

Josh was shaken from thought when his phone rang within his pocket, it was tyler.

"Tyjo baby heyyy." Josh greeted, all smiles.

"Hey baby pink, how are you? Did you get home safel?" Tyler asked.

"Yeah I'm good, how was your flight?"

Tyler yawned. "Tiring but hey I get to talk to you, I miss you so much Josh, I could just fly back right now and just hold you in bed.

Josh smiled, finding his perfect moment.

"Ty, I wish you were here too, I could just kiss your eyes, nose, lips, your body, I just....I have something so important to tell y---"

"---Uh Josh can I call back later? Mom wants us all in the same room, she's making plans or something." Tyler said cutting off his boyfriend.

Josh's huge smile faded in a matter of seconds. He just got on the phone with Tyler and he wasn't going to see the man for a week. Josh didn't want to reply to Tyler right now so he remained quiet.

"Baby I promise I'll call you back. You can tell me later yeah? Love you so much Joshie, I miss you, bye."   

Josh wasn't even given a second to reply or say bye and with that his mood had changed.

He closed his eyes and exhaled, holding back his tears but they seemed to just stream out by themselves, a hand stroking his stomach.

"Obviously baby isn't important enough." 


	7. Friends Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Say hello to more Brendon and Dallon. Title is a Frankmusik song :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the crappy wait, I really hope you like this chapter, I really did hehe, I hope it's funny :D

"I don't know what I wanna eat." Josh says over the line, fiddling with his curls and on the phone to a pizza place.

"Sir I'm sorry to rush you but I'm pretty sure there's a whole queue of people waiting to call." The male says on the line monotonously. Josh furrows his eyebrows and says "Oh sorry, just get me a pizza with uh, jalapeños, chicken, pineapple, yeah that's about it." 

With that being said, Josh gave his apartment details and hung up, turning back to the programme he was watching. It was a woman baking a devils chocolate cake. 

The pink haired male was drooling at the sight of a chocolate buttercream cake with chocolate frosting and creamy chocolate decor. He failed to realise his phone ringing beside him.

The ads finally started showing and Josh was back to his senses and picking up his phone.

"Momma Dun speaking?" He said without realising and felt embarrassed. 

"Hey it's your baby daddy!" Brendon screamed down the line, laughing. 

"Haha, hey Bren." Josh stated feeling a sense of relief.

"How ya doing pinky and the brain?" He asked. 

"Good good, just uh watching TV, how about you and Dall?" 

"We're getting ready to come over to yours, do you mind?" Brendon asked.

"Of course not I would love for you to come over." Josh blurts out.

"Ah that's awesome dude, see you in a few." With that being said, Brendon hung up. 

The show was back on and Josh was watching as the same female moved from chocolate cake to a fresh cream strawberry sponge but luckily for his hungry stomach, the door bell rang. He strode towards the door, opened it and was met by a young teenage pizza delivery guy.

"Delivery for Josh Dun." he spoke in a monotone. Josh smiled and pulled out his wallet and money with a tip. "Thank you." He said, taking the pizza and shutting the door. 

The male whizzed back over to the couch and opened the steamy pizza box, his tongue brushing over his lips as he took a slice and brought it to his mouth.

On a normal day, this would satisfy Josh, but the addition of pineapple wasn't cutting it for him.

Josh threw the pizza back down and retched. 

He stood up and went into the kitchen, the man grabbed coca cola from the fridge and looked in the cupboards for a glass. Josh caught sight of some skittles in a newly sealed pack. He grabbed the glass and took the skittles.

"Maybe this will help." He muttered to himself and sat back down, switching the channel to something else. Josh filled his cup with coke and ripped open the packet of skittles, spreading them all over his pizza.

His tongue hung from his mouth as he picked up a slice and took a bite from it. Josh sighed in content and leaned back into the couch. Even he knew this wasn't normal, but hey, he was pregnant, nothing was normal. 

A few minutes of munching, there was a knock at his door, Dallon and Brendon must have arrived. The male jumped up from his couch and strode towards the door and opened it to reveal a happy man and a rather happy man holding pizza boxes. 

"Joshiee!" Brendon squealed and barged in. "We got pizza!" He said and walked towards the couch. 

"How are you?" Dallon asked with a warm smile. "Doing good Dall, thanks for asking." Josh says and shuts the door, walking towards the couch.

"Eww Josh, why the heck do you have skittles on your pizza?" Brendon asked, squealing a little. Josh pouts a little and speaks. "It actually tastes good, I mean it satisfied me. I ate about four slices already." 

Brendon retches in a joking manner. "Brendon you act as if you've never ate something weird." Dallon said in Josh's defence. "I mean you did eat that piece of chewing gum off the street once." His boyfriend says and puts his hands up. Brendon turned red in the face and yelled to get his story across. 

"I was just a kid! I saw elf do it!" He screamed and crossed his arms.

"Atleast I didn't lick a horse Dallon Weekes!" He hissed.

"You licked a horse?" Josh asked confused.

"Yeah dude, I was curious, but then again I wasn't putting someone else's stale gum in my mouth." 

"Dallon fucking Weekes!" 

|-/ \\-|

"What even is THiS?" Brendon exclaimed looking at the TV in the dark. 

"How is that pleasurable? What's the whole point of this movie?" Dallon asks further.

Josh is quiet and lost for words himself. 

"Just give her the D ass hole!" Brendon scoffed and threw a pillow at the TV. 

"Movies over." With that Josh changed the channel, confused.

"Fifty shades of grey? More like fifty shades of Ha! Gayyyyyy." Brendon jests.

"Wait that's a good idea for a movie!!" He squeals, eyes sparkling with delight. 

"Any requests? Any requests?" Dallon asked, scrolling through a DVD rack Josh and Tyler had. 

"How about we play some smash bros?" Josh suggests and earns two happy yeses.

|-/ \\-|

"Okay, so no items on, no teams, stock on five, and there's no final smash since it's melee." Josh concludes setting up the game. 

Josh chooses peach, Brendon chooses kirby and Dallon chooses Roy. Scratch that!

"Since me and Dall are bae, I'm gonna be Marth because Roy and Marth are gay bae together." He said and moved his icon to Marth. 

After that selection, Josh picks Hyrule temple, so the two newbies get room to move since they weren't experts like Josh.

"What the hell?!" Marth can definitely make that jump! I'm calling bullshit!" Brendon yelled randomly through the game as he lost a life on 0%. 

"Bren you just suck, fight me like a man, come suck my toad." Josh randomly said. 

"Suck my toad?" Brendon asks whilst Dallon laughs and drops his controller.

"You know, B button toad?" Josh tries to elaborate.

"Suck my silver hair Josh, just fucking, yes!" With that, Dallon picks up his controller and they continue playing.

Dallon is out and it's just Brendon as Marth and Josh as peach.

"Oh ho ho ho, Josh my son, you're going home to mushroom kingdom." Brendon taunts and starts dancing around with Marth.

Josh comes in with a powerful attack, but Brendon holds onto his right shift and a defence bubble appears and he holds it for far too long his character becomes confused.

"Woah! I can't move!" He screamed. 

Josh smirks and moves in for the kill, peach bomb and it's all over.

"This games winner, peach!" The computer voice declares.

"You cheated Josh, you big fat cheater, my controller stopped working, cheater, you cheated." Brendon screamed and accused Josh. 

"Rules man, shouldn't hold the shield button so much." He clucked his tongue and decided that this was enough for Brendon Urie the sore loser.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will update soon guys I love y'all so much for sticking by, please comment :DD


	8. Coffee, pills and Tyler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What are friends for?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not feeling awesome at all, that's why this chapters a little angsty. It goes out to leoox, thank you for talking to me.

Okay, so maybe that wasn't the last game for Brendon. Josh wasn't determined to lose but he had to. He let the man with the bigger forehead win. 

A few pizza slices and coffees later, the three fell asleep. Dallon and Brendon in the guest room bed and Josh in his own. He did think of Tyler that night, but let it go. 

|-/ \\-| 

The male woke up to a strong smell of coffee, his sinuses had become blocked by the dark smell and he just got up out of bed and walked out of his room.

"Tylerrrrrrr." He chimed, half asleep and unaware of what he was doing. Josh soon realised that he was still tired and remembered that Tyler wasn't even here, he was halfway across the world, forgetting about him. He wants to stand there, choke on his sobs but the pink haired male is so grateful for Dallon to be here in his apartment.

"Hey Josh, I hope you don't mind, I promise I'll clean up." He chimes, appearing in front of Josh and holding a rather large cup of coffee. 

"Thanks Dall." Josh said with a smile on his face and walks away into his room.

Dallon woke up quite early, he is a light sleeper and an early riser so he happened to be up quite earlier than usual. He was sat down, watching TV and scrolling through his feed when his eyes landed on Tyler's brother's post. 

It was of his brother Zack, who was taking a selfie with his sister, but in the corner way at the back, sat on a bench was Jenna and Tyler, and it looked like she was feeding him something. Dallon felt a weird spiral in his stomach.

This wasn't right, neither was it fair on Josh to be alone and not knowing that his boyfriend was somewhat enjoying time with some woman. He understood the issue of being with another person and being arranged a marriage but acting like its okay after already having a lover was wrong and completely immoral. 

If Dallon was near Tyler right now, he would punch him, he'd kick him and grab his collar, ask him what he's trying to do. He wasn't going to let Josh's heart be broken into a million pieces, ever.

Josh on the other hand, placed his coffee mug down and looked at his phone. 

No notifications, no messages, absolutely nothing. 

Where was Tyler? What was he doing? Why was he not talking to Josh? It had almost been a day and he got nothing from Tyler.

The pink haired male felt a rush of pain in his head. It felt like someone was squeezing his skull from both sides and he just shook his head and grabbed onto his hair.

Josh grabbed his towel and rushed off into the shower. He needed to control this wave of emotion flying over him. 

He understood Tyler was busy. But didn't he love him that much like he thought?

Obviously Josh was wrong, he's always wrong, he's the stupid childish one, that's why Tyler always forgets about his presence. Maybe this is why Tyler hadn't called. Maybe he forgot about Josh and decided to live a new and happy life with Jenna.

So what would happen to the baby? Could Josh raise a child alone that would resemble his ex lover? 

Torture at it's finest.

He's trying, he's trying hard not to grab a razor from the drawer and distract himself from this grief gnawing away at him. Trying hard not to punch the walls and paint them in his blood. 

"Come on Josh." He whispered to himself and exhaled sharply.

"Hey Josh!" A voice called from the outside, it's his saviour, Dallon. 

"Are you coming? Breakfast is ready dude." He said in a calming and comforting voice, it blankets Josh in some sort of love and safety.

Though it's been a day, he feels love lost and deprived of the feeling, it feels good to get it from someone.

Josh stepped out and changed into some clothes, he met with Dallon and a sleepy eyed Brendon, who was looking through his cabinets. 

Dallon smiled, placing his and Joshs plates on the table. "Bren babe, you coming or what?" Dallon asked, taking a seat. 

"Yeah I just have a heada---" 

He cut himself off as he examined a pill box.

"What the...?" He said to himself, Dallon noticing his voice change and Josh just poking his food, wanting to puke on to it. 

"What is it?" Dallon asked, getting out of his seat now, walking towards his love.

"There's a box of pills here for pregnant women." He croaks and shows Dallon.

Josh's ears perk up at the word pregnant and he remains looking down at his dinner, hoping that none of them would ask him. 

"Hey Josh, what are these doing here?" Dallon asked, looking at the said friend.

Josh remained quiet and continued to poke his food.

"Josh, are these yours?" He asked, still not receiving a reply. 

"N-No, they're T-Tylers." He lied, not looking up at all. 

"He's pregnant?" Brendon asked, scratching his head.

"Why didn't he take these?" Dallon asked, confused.

Josh felt interrogated, even though these two were his best friends, he didn't like it one bit. 

"I don't know maybe he forgot." Josh said a little loudly and a little pissed off. 

"Oh man that's awesome, we should call and congratulate him." Brendon said and took the box away from Dallon and putting it back. 

"N-no, you don't need to." Josh yelled instantly, closing his eyes, feeling shitty again. 

"What why?" Dallon asked and pouted. "I wanna congratulate him on the baby." He said with a cute smile. 

"Forget about it, you don't need to he---" Josh was cut of by his own speech when something gushed up his throat and immediately he ran to his kitchen sink and emptied his contents down the drain. 

Dallon immediately rubbed his back and spoke to him. "Oh Josh, we're here for you, you don't have to hide it." He said, a little hurt. 

"You're pregnant aren't you?" Dallon asked.

Josh stopped puking and shivered. After a good ten seconds Josh burst out into tears and shook like he was was standing in the snow. 

"H-he doesn't know, I d-didn't tell h-him." He sobbed and turned on the tap, draining down the puke. 

"Why not J, what's up?" Brendon asked, feeling a little angry, seeing his best friend like this. 

"I don't know. I don't know. I just, I'm waiting for him to call, when he's not busy so we can have a moment together. How romantic of me is it to tell him over the phone whilst he's in another country? I don't want to right now please." Josh wiping away his tears and trying to straighten himself out. 

Brendon and Dallon respect Josh's decision. They cannot call Tyler and tell him, thats betrayal but they cannot stand to see Josh like this at all. 

Josh wiped his mouth and walked away, back into his room, back into his bed.

He can't help but to cry there. He doesn't know how but Tyler's scent has gone. It's as if Tyler never existed in his life and that Josh is crying over someone who isn't even real.

Why was life such a cruel joke?

Why did he have to be so far away?

The male sobbed into his pillow and muffled the cries. He hated this empty feeling, the loneliness, he wanted Tyler back in his arms, tell him everything's okay.

"Everything's gonna be okay Josh." A soothing sweet voice says, landing a hand on his back.

Josh recognises the sweet smell as Dallon. The male sniffles.

"What if doesn't get better?" He asked.

Dallon smiled to Josh who wasn't looking.

"Then we kick life in the ass and make things better, we'll put destiny in our own hands Josh, just to see you smile." 

Josh perked up. He threw off the covers and turned to Dallon. 

"Everything will be back to normal?" Josh asked like an innocent little kid.

"Of course, we'll make it."

"Promise?" 

"Promise." 

Josh smiled adoringly, eyes red and cheeks a little damp.

Unknowingly, he moved in and kissed his best friends boyfriend on the lips.

He immediately pulled away and a look of horror spread across Dallon's face.

Josh himself couldn't fathom what he had just done. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, if you wanna talk to me join my Kik group #Archiveofmyown or comment me your names and I will add you, please stay safe and alive frens |-/


	9. Boyfriend Calling..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I can explain. You're just gonna have to read on...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up, it's a bumpy ride, must be like this because of my annoying period, honestly I don't even know what's going on with this story. 
> 
> Sorry for the short chapter...

"Oh fuck, fuck I'm sorry Dallon I didn't mean to..." Josh starts to say but trails off into tears.

Dallon doesn't know what to say or what to do. He has to tell Brendon, it's the rules of their relationship.

"Seriously you need to just go please." Josh pleads and stands up, misty eyed. 

"Please just go." He said a little more sternly. 

Confused Dallon stands up, trying to console the confused Joshua Dun. 

"Josh I know you didn't mean it, I understand that you're in a hard place right now---" 

"---no no no! I'm taking advantage of it and you and Brendon better fucking leave before I ruin your relationship. Just go away." Josh yelled, summoning a panicked and stunned Brendon at the door.

"What's going on?" He asked, looking fresher and more awake than before.

"JUST GET THE HELL OUT!" 

With that, Dallon and Brendon are scrambling towards the door, scared and shaken. They've never seen Josh like this, ever.

"Please just tell us Josh what's wrong?" Brendon asked, standing on the other side of the door, with a very quiet Dallon. 

"I'm taking advantage of your kindness and I can't keep doing it. I forced a kiss on Dallon and I am one step closer to breaking you two up. Don't blame him Brendon, it was all me, all of it!" He seethed the last part and slammed the door shut, hearing the hinges become loose. 

Josh is a mess, he's laying in front of the door in a pool of his own tears. He was sure that at this moment he could drown in them. He deserved it, Josh was a shitty friend.

|-/ \\-|

"Brendon, he---" 

"---Dallon I know..." 

Brendon said, face calm and a sigh escaping his lips. It just reminded Brendon of the time when he was in a bad place and kissed someone else behind Dallon's back. His feelings were spiralling out of control. But what Josh was going through was immense and dangerous.

He was pregnant and his state was atrocious. 

"Shouldn't we call Tyler? Let him know?" Dallon asked, scared. "You heard him Dall, I don't want him to do anything stupid if he finds out." Brendon said, confused. 

|-/ \\-|

Even Josh cannot even explain what it is. 

He fell asleep on the floor by the door, feeling the gusts of wind coming in but dismissed it because of his crying state.

Right now, he's wide awake on the couch watching TV. It's a good thing, since he's not doing anything destructive. 

It's all quiet until his phone rings.

"Hello?" He answers without looking at the ID.

"Heyy, well if it isn't the love of my life speaking." Tyler chimed on the other side.

"Tyler?" Josh asked, confused for who knows what reason. 

"Yeah babe, already forgot about me?" Tyler asked, a hint of playful sadness in his voice. Josh wants to scoff but let's it go, he's tired.

"Anyways baby boy, how have you been? Sorry I didn't call, been busy with shit. Family and my mom, she needs me like all the time. It's like as soon as I tell them I'm gonna call you they need me." Tyler said in a chirpy tone, unable to catch on to what he's saying.

An unbelievable smile tugs on Joshs lips as he sees how naive Tyler is. 

"Of course they need you, when do they not need you." He said, in a some what harsh tone.

"Are you okay Josh? Is everything okay?" Tyler asked, concerned. 

"Yeah I'm good Tyler, I can just hear my mom calling me to get off the line." 

"Your moms here? Are you all okay?" 

"Of course Tyler, she just wants me to get off the line and do some shit I don't even need to do. I mean I have weddings to plan for." Josh said, all trace of happy emotion gone, there wasn't any to begin with.

Tyler is dumbstruck and then realises what he's hinting to. 

"Seriously Josh, why are you being so childish about it for, I told you I'm busy with stuff, I'm halfway across the world from you, it's hard." He says into the phone, Josh surprised.

"It's hard is it? Haha, which part?" Josh asked, Tyler shocked at that those questions. 

"I think about you all the time Josh.."

"No no, you think about yourself, if you thought about me ever Tyler Robert Joseph, I would be getting endless texts till night, video calls so I could see your face, I would never get the feeling I'm alone but no I don't exist do I?" Josh says, tears streaming down his face.

"Josh you know I would but it's so busy and my mom, she always has my work cut out---"

 

"---oh and then there's your beloved mother, Mrs Joseph, the most selfish cow I know. She's a leech, a clingy little bitch. She's got you tied around her little finger."

"How dare you? How fucking dare you say that about my mother Josh? What the fuck is your problem? Obviously you don't know your priorities, you're the leech and the little bitch, fucking you're a needy slut and I'm always there to sort you out. Yeah I also have my own life, it doesn't just revolve around you and your mood swings!" 

Josh's world went silent. His arm stopped moving, his face stops showing emotion, his world is at a standstill. 

"I called with so much sadness, that I was forgetting about you, but obviously you don't care, you just go opening your mouth to where it isn't needed. Sometimes I'm glad I'm away from you, maybe we need this time apart because Josh you've ruined everything."

The pink haired male doesn't hear anything else after that. 

He doesn't have Dallon,

He doesn't have Brendon,

Most of all, he lost Tyler to someone else. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I might just delete this now, I don't know what to do with it.
> 
> Stay alive my frens in the new year |-/


	10. They Can Only Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everythings a mess.
> 
> Trigger warning: Suicide attempt. Please read with caution and care and at your own risk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, I had become a little distracted and tired. Sorry if this chapter isn't what you wanted my frens.
> 
> ALSO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OVER 60 KUDOS AND 1200 VIEWS I LOVE YALL SO MUCH <3 :,)

Josh doesn't understand what's going on. Colours are flashing everywhere, the white is brilliant and painful to the human eye, or rather Josh's eyes. The male can barely open them.

He cannot hear either. There's no sound to anything. He sees blurry figures going past him and that's about it. Feels like being trapped in artwork. 

|-/ \\-|

They're both sat in silence, so many hours have gone by, so many people have walked past. 

His head rests in his boyfriends shoulder, eyes red and cheeks still wet with tears. 

In the others hand is a coffee, it's stone cold now, there was no heart to drink from it. 

It's been like this for three days and right now they cannot do anything, just wait for an answer they will never get. 

People shuffle by, faces filled with nothing but their own worries, no one else's. There's a new visitor everyday but the two men don't care about anyone else.

"Maybe we should go back and just clean up a little, we're a mess." One suggests. 

"We might miss it." The second replies and they're back in silence again.

"We didn't---"

"---it's our fault." 

They mumble over each other and that sets one off to cry. The coffee is tossed in the trash and it's silent again beside the occasional shuffling of someone walking by or someone entering the room beside them. 

|-/ \\-|

Nothing changed between Dallon and Brendon that day. They were will still a hundred percent into each other.

They knew Josh's slip up was an accident, he didn't mean them any harm, especially from the way he reacted, they knew he regretted it. 

Most of all their love didn't change.

"Come on Dall, what do you think? Okay, we won't tell Tyler, but we gotta stay checking on Josh, what if he does something bad? I mean he's hormonal and emotional." Brendon said, looking to his equally worried boyfriend.

"Doesn't Tyler have a right to know at the least?" Dallon asked, eyes hopeful.

Brendon wasn't so sure that Josh wanted to talk about Tyler right about now. Telling him the situation was a whole new other problem.  
   
"We'll give him time to calm down, we go back later, because I'm worried for Josh, I mean if Tyler did care, he'd be calling by now." 

Dallon agreed and then his mind turned back to Tylers brothers post. Showing Brendon would probably be a terrible idea so the male left it at that. 

|-/ \\-|

"Oh my gosh Bren, you're such a silly." Dallon said laughing, feeling Brendon's arm snake around his waist as they walked side by side. 

"But I'm the silly you love so much." He replies and admires his lovers face under the moonlight. 

Dallon chuckles at Brendon. He remembers of how much of a horny teenager his lover used to be. Nothing had changed and neither did his occasional playfullness which got him head over heels for the man with a large forehead.

Dallon truly loved Brendon. And he wouldn't have it any other way. 

Whilst the two had already spent time together, they suggested it would be a good time to go check on Josh. He'd been given time and hopefully he would've calmed down by now.

"The lights are out, maybe he's gone out." Brendon says examining the apartment from the outside. "Call him." Dallon suggests. 

Brendon pulls out his phone and dials Josh, holding the phone against his ear.

Dallon furrows his eyebrows, hearing a familiar sound ringing from the inside. 

"His phone is here." 

Brendon hung up.

"Maybe he left it at home." 

"I think we should make sure." Dallon said, not convinced.

"What do you mean? What do you wanna do?" Brendon asks confused.

"Let's break the door down." Dallon suggested, pulling his sleeves up a little. 

"Josh will get mad, maybe he's out." 

"Bren please, it's a gut feeling, I need to do this." 

Brendon agrees, for he knows his boyfriends worries are always important. They both stand by and line them selves up. 

"On three okay. One, two three." 

The men both slammed themselves into the door. After two, the hinges became loose and gave up. The door had fallen with a thud against the floor. 

It dawned upon them, how dark it was in there, the TV wasn't even on. Josh had probably gone out to cool off or maybe he was asleep. 

Dallon walked in over the door and switched on the lights. 

"Maybe he has gone out." Dallon mumbles but nevertheless decides to look around.

"Here's his phone." Brendon said and notices it on the couch. He clicks the home button and saw various messages from the same sender. 

Tyler.

"Josh you there?"

"I'm sorry"

"You got me mad babe." 

"That's not good." Brendon said, twiddling the phone and placing it back. "I think they've been arguing." He says and stands by, watching Dallon venture off further. "Josh?" He calls in a hushed tone, examining the place as he turns on the lights.

Josh's bedroom is empty. The covers are a mess and that's about it. The bathroom door is closed but there's no sounds hinting that Josh was taking a shower.

Just to ease his curious mind, Dallon turned the handle and slowly opened the door, it stopped halfway.

"Josh?" Dallon called, turning on the light.

Dallon could only wish he came earlier or never left Josh in the first place.

"BRENDON!" Dallon screams, his stomach twisting violently at the sight before him.

Josh is so pale, all the colour from his face has gone, except the brown and shiny colour on his eye lids. He's on the ground, lying in a pool of blood, his wrists are slit so deep, it urges Dallon to want to be sick, but he holds it in.

Brendon rushes in faster than ever. He too discovers Joshs lifeless body and begins to shake. 

He's able to pull out his phone.

"I-I need an a-ambulance."

|-/ \\-|

The doctor told them that they were lucky to find Josh there and then and that he was still breathing. Ultimately Josh was supposed to be dead, they were unable to explain how he was still alive.

He was operated on immediately and had lost a lot of blood. They said that there was minimum chance that the baby inside of him would live. Its most likely it suffocated as the blood flow had been cut off.

And now here they were.

Dallon and Brendon, sitting on the hospital chairs.

Tyler will be back soon. He will want answers, explanations and there's gonna be a hell lot of arguments, maybe even fights. 

Maybe even broken friendships if it goes that far.

They can only pray that Josh wakes up.

 

Right now he's battling for his life alone.  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that wasn't so happy was it? Why is Tyler such a noob?
> 
> I hope Josh wakes up soon.
> 
> What do you think should happen?
> 
> Comment below 
> 
> Cuz if you stick around I'll write you pretty nouns and I'll make kudos from all of your stares.
> 
> |-/ ;) <3


	11. Dreaming The Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler's back in town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not even know how many chapters are left of this and I hope that y'all stick around and continue to comment. You're gonna love this frens |-/ :D
> 
> Thank you for all the endless support!!! God bless you all <3
> 
> #YouAreOutOfMyMind

"Come on it will be fun Tyler." Jenna says as she exits the plane with her soon to be husband.

"No seriously, Josh will be waiting for me and I don't wanna keep him too long. He probably has things to do." Tyler replies but smiles to her.

"Okay but if you change your mind." She says and smiles.

It feels good to be back home, though Tyler enjoyed the sights in England. They travelled up and down, mostly to small and insignificant parts, there was no place like home.

The Joseph and Black family retrieve their luggage and make their way to the exit of the airport. 

Tyler couldn't spot Josh anywhere. The pink hair male knew that Tyler was coming back today, so why wasn't he here? 

Tyler sighed harshly and rolled his eyes. Josh was being pathetic and childish. He didn't like it one bit.

"I take it he didn't come." Jenna says, appearing from nowhere. "We can go back to mine and talk wedding stuff." She said, linking her arm with Tyler's.

If Tyler didn't come home tonight, Josh would worry. 

Let him worry then. Tyler said to himself, if he cared the slightest about Tyler. He would have picked him up from the airport. 

"You know what? Sounds great."

|-/ \\-|

Dallon sat by Josh, holding his hand as Brendon went out to talk to the doctors about his health.

"Come on Josh, where are you? Please wake up, what about Tyler? What about your ba--?"

Dallon stopped there. He sighed. 

Brendon and Dallon finally found the strength to clean up and become more presentable whilst being in the hospital for so long. 

So many hours passed, so many nurses and doctors checked Josh and not one could tell whether Josh would wake up or not. 

"When you wake up we'll have another movie night y-yeah? We'll watch some crappy movies and laugh at stuff. Then we'll play some s-smash bros and let you kick our asses, especially Brendon's." Dallon said with a smile, but tears rolling down his face. 

"We'll wait for you Josh, I hope you can hear me, we'll wait for you." 

|-/ \\-|

"Haha, yeah, I remember, honestly though, I didn't think in a million years it would happen." Tyler says to Jenna, as they reminisce their time back in England. 

"I would love to go back again. We should totally go again when we're married." Jenna blurts, with a smile across her face. She picks up a glass of wine and takes a sip from it.

Tyler, on the other hand, his smile disappears at the word 'married'

Though they're not on perfect terms, he wants Josh by his side, he wants to cuddle him, say lovely words to him and listen to the male moan his name everyday. 

He misses their romance. Tyler is glad to be back in Columbus. 

"Hey you okay?" Jenna asked, placing her slender hand on Tyler's shoulder. He etched away a little.

"Yeah I'm good, just tired I guess." He says and yawns.

"Stay over Ty, I mean Josh has survived a week without you and barely called you. I'm sure he won't mind you staying over." Jenna said with some sort of accomplished smile. 

"I would but seriously Josh---"

"---Look Tyler, you don't wanna crash on the way home, do you? I'm pretty sure if Josh sees you, he wants you in one piece, I know I do." She said, cuddling closer, making him feel uncomfortable. 

Tyler gave her some sort of disgusted smile and agreed to her anyway. 

Luckily, he sleeps in a guest room and lays in bed. 

He cannot close his eyes. Josh was so close yet so far away.

He wanted the male in his arms and to smell his scent.

Not the conditioner soaked into the bed. 

He hums a little, sings a little,

 

"My heart, is my armour,  
You're the tear in my heart,  
You're a carver, you're a butcher with a smile, cut me farther, than I've ever been." 

Jenna is outside, listening to his angelic voice. The woman forgets what she wants to say and with that, she slips away into her room, a huge smile plastered onto her face.

|-/ \\-|

"I'm gonna miss you baby." Echoes in Tyler's ears, as he lays in bed that night. He misses Josh so much. 

He doesn't like it one bit, his Josh being so many miles away. He wants Josh all to himself, to snuggle up to at night and to help ease the twisting in his stomach.

No! Josh's parents decide to plan his wedding since he's not getting any younger. 

He's noticed that the pink haired male becomes so absent minded when his parents or his going to be wife is around.

It hurts when Josh leaves him in the mall, at a park, or brings him along to hear the marriage proposal. Why doesn't Josh stop take account of Tyler's emotions and how he feels about everything.

"You're pregnant Tyler." The doctor chimes.

He's feels out of this world, no woman can come in between them, not even Josh's parents, they're gonna be together forever. This baby is a sign of their eternal love.

"Fuck Tyler! You're so needy, I'm always the one looking out for you! Don't you dare talk about my parents like that!

He's in the bathroom, slitting his wrists, slowly losing consciousness. Josh doesn't care about him anymore, no one does. No one will want him and this baby. It's the end for tyler.

|-/ \\-|

Tyler wakes up with beads of sweat dripping down his face. 

That dream, it felt so real. It terrified him to think something like that could enter his brain.

Suddenly he missed Josh so much, he wanted to be in the mans arms and tell him that everything's okay and that Tyler doesn't want to go through with this wedding anymore. 

The male jumps out of bed and heads downstairs. He's met with Jenna and her parents in the kitchen making breakfast.

"Oh Tyler, I was just coming to give you your breakfast in bed." Jenna chimes, holding a tray. 

Tyler doesn't care about food right now. His body has turned cold because of his sweat. 

"I'm sorry, something important came up, thank you for your hospitality Mr and Mrs Black." Tyler says and heads out the door.

He calls for a cab and reminds himself to grab his luggage later from his parents home. 

The ride is quick as Tyler tells the driver to speed up a little. He checks his phone. 

It's nine thirty-one in the morning and Tyler is wide awake. He just needs Josh right now. Nothing else will soothe his racing heart.

When Tyler gets back, he grabs his key from inside his phone case and unlocks his door. The can has already sped away as Tyler enters the apartment.

He wants to shout his lovers name, he wants to run to him and shower him with love that he hadn't received for a long week.

Tyler silently runs into their bedroom. A smile tugs on his lips, his lover is behind this door, shirtless and drooling maybe. He exhales and turns the handle.

Tyler is met with total emptiness, there's no one and nothing there. He furrowed his eyebrows and felt his stomach churn. 

Maybe the pink haired male was in the shower. Maybe.

Tyler approaches the bathroom door and turns the handle. 

It flies open. 

And no one is in there.

The place looked as if no one had used it in a long time, thanks to Dallon and Brendon's cleaning up skills. 

"Josh!" Tyler calls, receiving no reply. His apartment is empty.

He starts to panic a little. "Josh!" He calls again and realises that it's useless. It's best just to call him.

Tyler taps on his boyfriends number and calls him.

His worry increases by one hundred when he hears his lovers phone ring on the couch.

"Oh fuck!" He curses, tears spill from his eyes. He doesn't know what to do. 

|-/ \\-|

Dallon continued sitting by Josh, telling him about Brendon and funny jokes, with hopes that Josh will wake up soon.

"Brendon will be back soon, he's just gone to speak to the doctor, they have some things they want to tell us."

With that, Brendon walks in. No emotion or expression on his face. Dallon isn't sure whether to take it as good or bad news.

"Brendon..." Dallon starts and exhales, preparing himself for the worst.

"...what did they say?" He asked. 

Brendon's breath shook as did his body, he couldn't say it, his words were stuck in his throat, choking him. 

"T-t-they s-s-said.." He starts, giving himself time to speak without stuttering.

Dallon feels his cheeks getting wet as he sees tears spill from his own lovers eyes.

"I-It's the b-b-ba-b-by." He stutters and cries into his hands. Brendon doesn't understand why he's wailing like this.

Dallon squeezes his eyes shut, suppressing his own cries.

 

"It's alive Dallon." He spluttered.

Dallon whips his head up, eyes red and wet, he turns to look at Brendon with disbelief.

Brendon's head lifts up with a smile. He nods to Dallon.

 

"They're both going to be just fine." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well things just got good, well for now ;)
> 
> Until next time frens |-/ 
> 
> Btw I love Jenna in real life, this is just fiction xD


	12. Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler's not okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fail to believe that it's been a month since I updated this. Damn, my life is spiralling out of control. 
> 
> Fuck I miss LeooX so much :/ I hope she's okay <3

Tyler was hysteric, who was he supposed to call and ask. 

Where would Josh be? Could he be at his parents? Could he be at Dallons? 

Oh gosh, did he run away? 

No, he can't have. Josh left so many things behind. 

He pulled out his phone with his hands shaking like he was stood in the middle of Antarctica. Maybe Josh's mother knew.

"Hello?" His mothers angelic voice answers.

"Hello, Mama Dun?" Tyler breathes, feeling reassurance in her voice. 

"Oh Tyler honey! How are you? How's my baby boy Josh? Are you both okay?" She beams, happiness in her voice.

Well Josh wasn't there.

"He's fine, sorry I must have clicked the uh....wrong number." He swallows, feeling guilt and terror drape over him like a curtain call. 

After hanging up abruptly, Tyler fumbled down his contact list and his fingers hit Dallon's contact. 

If Dallon didn't know then Tyler was seriously in trouble. 

He stood there, biting one of his nails down to the nub, anticipating his voice on the other side. 

"Hey it's Dallon baby!" Voicemail screamed in Brendon's voice. 

"Fuck!" He cursed and tried Brendon instead. 

The male couldn't help the tears that streamed from his red eyes. He feared that Brendon wouldn't answer and that if he did, he wouldn't know where Josh would be. 

The only person then who would know where Josh is, is Josh himself. 

The phone rings and there's a silence, like someone had answered but refused to say anything.

"Brendon?! Are you there?!" Tyler screams down the lines and begins to sob into the device. 

Tyler feels the coldness of his fingers brushing against the skin on his face. 

"Brendon please! Have you s-seen Josh, I don't know where he is!" His voice cracked and nevertheless he continued to sob. 

"O-oh so you c-care?" Brendon asked down the line, his voice already broken.

Tyler tenses up at his tone. He'd never heard Brendon this way at all. He was always happy and cheery and goofy like, this was something else and Tyler couldn't help but to feel lifeless. 

What happened whilst he was gone? 

"W-what?" Tyler asked, sniffling, wiping his nose on the back of his hand.  "Don't play the innocent guy games on me Joseph. Just who do you think you are?!" Brendon grits down the line, alarming Tyler. 

"I don't care about games. Where's my Josh, Brendon? I need him I can't find him, where has he gone? D-do you know?" He continues to ask, his guts churning uncomfortably. 

"Your Josh? Which Josh? The one you didn't call?! The one you beat down for a woman?!" Brendon screamed across the line.

It didn't help Tyler as tears repeatedly fell from his eyes and he sobbed endlessly. 

Brendon was right. So very right. 

"I-I'm sorry Brendon! "I-I'm sorry." He cried, hoping that the male would finally give him answers as to where his lover was. 

"D-don't apologise to h-him." The voice changed.

It was Dallon.

"D-Dallon? Where's my baby boy, Dallon? Please tell m-me." Tyler cried, literally begging for his lover.

There was a pause.

"I think you need to come down to the hospital."

 

|-/ \\-|

 

Tyler did not hesitate when Dallon gave him that information. He was quick to grab his keys and drive recklessly to the hospital, not damaging or hurting anyone the way since he already caused so much destruction.

Immediately parking up, Tyler sprinted into the hospital building and scrambling up to the floor Dallon told him to meet him on.

Dallon was so nervous. Brendon was a mess after the phone call. He repeated over and over again that he was going to hurt Tyler, that he was going to paint his eyes purple, he was going to make sure that he was unconscious, lying on a bed in hospital instead of Josh.

Dallon knew Brendon didn't mean it but still, it was a dangerous scenario. The males eyes were still so puffy and stinging after frequent rubbing. He looked fresher but still awful. In all honestly, Dallon wanted things just to be okay and for Josh to see the daylight again.

Dallon's breath got tangled in his throat when he recognised Tyler's face. This was it, to come out with what happened to Josh.

Would Tyler be able to take it?

"Dallon!" Tyler yelled, running up to him in full speed and tugging on his sleeves.

"W-where's J-Josh? W-where's my boyfriend?!" He screamed, shaking the taller male violently, begging for an answer. 

Dallon shut his eyes to hold back his tears, and exhaled. Then he grabbed Tyler's arms. "You need to calm down Tyler, let me speak okay, just shush!" Dallon instructed.

"Josh..." 

Dallon shook his head, he needed to be stronger.

"Josh is unconscious." 

Tyler furrowed his eyebrows but his eyes became misty again. 

"H-he tried to k-kill himself."

With that being said, Tyler became hysteric. The male was practically screaming and shaking Dallon like he was a rag doll of some sort.

"Show me where Josh is! I want Josh!!" He whined and Dallon was quick to tell him the ward number, since the taller male needed a little bit of time to calm down.

Tyler was running down the halls like his life depended on it. He was apart from Josh for too long, far too long and to know he was unconscious killed him inside. Tyler didn't want to believe it, he couldn't.

The door slammed silently as Tyler pushed it wide open and watched silently.

There he lay, attached to a monitor, eyes closed, chest rising up and down ever so gently. 

The pink hair and his silver nose ring.

Tyler broke out into a strangled sob as he shuffled towards his lover like a zombie. His body turned cold, his heart stopped beating, the males eyes took in the scene in his head.

It was all too true.

Tyler's cold hand slid up to grab Josh's equally cold one and his other touched the stubbly cheek on Josh's face, shaking uncontrollably. His breathing shook, the hot tears still streaming.

"I-it's o-okay now J-Josh, I-I'm here, p-please o-open your e-eyes.." Tyler breathed out, a smile on his face, knowing that his prince will awaken to the sound of his voice. 

"J-Josh, i-it's T-Tyler, p-p-please." He cried, stroking his pink curls, back and forth, gosh, he missed that softness. 

Josh wasn't budging nor was he moving, it was just his chest, rising and falling, nothing else.

Tyler let go of Josh's hand and slid his hand to the other side of his lovers face. "J-Josh why w-won't you l-listen to me..? I'm h-here now." 

Josh wasn't budging.

"Josh." Tyler called, gently shaking the pink haired males head. "Wake up." 

Another sob erupted.

"Wake up Josh! Josh! Wake up!" He shook more aggressively.

"JOSH! JOSH WAKE UP!" Tyler screamed. "I NEED YOU, I'M HERE! WAKE UP!" He sobbed and screamed at the same time, alerting the nurses and doctors walking by.

"JOSH!" 

Before Tyler knew it, the nurses were pulling him away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys, I really hope to upload another chapter soon! I appreciate you all for sticking by <3 God bless you all |-/


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